once upon a time we wrote for the fun of it

Since I've had some trouble keeping an exercise routine in the past, and since weight and body image have been a part of the problem, I've decided that all future endeavors into the world of physical fitness will be entirely enjoyable; that is, I will be, henceforth, training for the zombie apocalypse.



For the cardio-respiratory portion of my plan, I've chosen jogging. Escaping the undead before everyone else is key to survival, and jogging is the easiest way to train for such an event. Since it's been almost 3 years since I've kept any kind of reasonable exercise schedule, I'll start off slowly, but I hope to build up to 4 or 5 runs a week, with 2 or 3 miles per run, if possible. I love running in the cold, so there's no excuses in this weather, but I won't be running more than every other day for the first month or so. My motivation for running, whatever the weather and my mood on the designated day, will be: if zombies were to attack today, would they really hold off because I wanted to take a nap? Or because I'm sore? Yeah, right. I might spice things up with some biking or elliptical time, but I find that I really do best with running, after I get into it. Surprisingly, my best runs are in the dead of winter, when the sidewalks are icy—keeps me on my toes.

Muscular strength components are equally vital to survival; what if I had to run for a few days with all my supplies on my back? If weakness was a problem, I'd be dead in a hurry. Since my main focus is cardio, my first muscular groups to focus on will be legs and arms, but as I get more in shape, I'll include core and other such things. I ran track in high school and was surprised at the difference lifting made. I came to really enjoy the monotony of lifting, but it'll definitely be something I have to work up to. Because of my track days, I've got some good lifting plans in my head. Also: ab workouts!

Stretching, post-warm up and as a part of my cool-down, are of course important. Sprained or pulled muscles will only lead to earlier collapse and, ultimately, earlier death. Zombies prey on humans with charlie horses; we all know that. I'll need to be as limber as possible. I was a part of a yoga class for almost a year while doing service before college, and sun salutations were a series of positions that I particularly loved. On National Yoga Day, we did 109 sun salutations throughout the day, so I think I can probably fit a few in each day. This will serve as good stretching for my calves and hamstrings as well as a way to potentially increase flexibility. The salutation I learned starts in tadasana, a mountain or resting pose, and moves into warrior, an active pose that stretches the hamstrings. By including windmill and downward facing dog, I can adequately stretch my legs—and if I miss a run, I can do 10 or 15 more salutations at a higher speed to get my heart rate up.

Nutrition is vital in crisis times. I don't have the best track record with food—in high school I had an unspecified eating disorder, mostly anorexia-based—but I've been doing a lot better. I worked with a dietician for a year (as her employee, not a patient), so I know what I should be aiming for. It's hard to get adequate nutrition in the cafeteria, but I'm working on watching my salt intake and paying attention to eating fruits and vegetables. Some days, I forget to eat much protein, and especially if I'm running more regularly, I'll be needing protein and iron from meat. My body needs about 1700 cal/day, but I've committed to not keeping track of either caloric intake, weight, or body mass index since my senior year in high school. Instead I'll be gauging my success on how I feel, not how I look or how much I weigh. My usual intake is about 1800 calories per day, mainly since I rarely eat breakfast. If I stick with this schedule, it'll be okay to increase that slightly, especially if the increase comes in the form of salads and fruits and vegetables. I'll also cut back on late-night snacking. If I can get sleep on a better schedule and start eating breakfasts again, I think my need for food after midnight will decline.

This is an exercise plan that I'm actually kind of excited about, which is what I need to stay motivated. After Christmas brings me many iTunes gift cards, I'll be browsing the net for some good old zombie movies or horror movie soundtracks to run alongside. Oh, undead, how you inspire me.

[ ] another day in the frontal lobe, by katrina firlik
[x] blue like jazz, by donald miller
[ ] eat me, by kenny shopsin and carolynn carreno
[ ] fight club, by chuck palahniuk
[ ] lolita, by vladimir nabakov
[x] outliers, by malcolm gladwell
[ ] suite francoise, by irene nemirovsky
[x] the host, by stephanie meyer
[ ] wintering, by kate moses